Watching my daughter-in-law juggle work, little ones, and endless responsibilities while I spend precious days with my grandson, I’m transported back to those exhausting, yet beautiful and overwhelming, years when I was in her shoes. I remember the guilt that crept in every time I thought about taking a moment for myself. The voice that whispered, “Good Christian mothers put everyone else first.”
At 59, having survived the motherhood marathon and now cheering from the sidelines as a grandmother, I want to tell you something I wish someone had told me during those sleep-deprived, sippy-cup-washing, endless-laundry years:
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s stewardship.
And more importantly, it’s possible—even in the chaos of Christian motherhood.
Let me share what I’ve learned about honoring God through caring for yourself, not despite being a busy mom, but because you are one.
The Lie That Nearly Broke Me (And Might Be Breaking You)
Twenty-five years ago, I believed that dying to self meant literally dying—physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted to the point of depletion. I thought that putting my family’s needs above my own meant ignoring my own needs entirely.
I was the mom who stayed up late doing laundry after everyone went to bed, then got up early to make breakfast before anyone woke up. I said yes to every church volunteer opportunity, every school request, and every neighbor who needed help. I prayed for patience when I snapped at my children, for energy when I felt like I could barely function, and for forgiveness when I felt resentful about my life.
Working while mothering felt like a constant balancing act where I was always dropping something. At work, I was always looking to please everyone. At home, I was the mom trying to give everything to her family. In between, there was nothing left for me—and I thought that’s how it was supposed to be.
The breaking point came during a particularly difficult season when I found myself crying in the church bathroom, exhausted and overwhelmed, feeling like I was failing everyone including God. That’s when an older woman—a mother of four grown children—sat beside me and said something that changed my perspective forever:
“Honey, you can’t pour from an empty cup. And God never asked you to be empty.”
That conversation planted a seed that took years to grow into understanding: caring for myself wasn’t taking away from my family. It was ensuring I had something genuine to give them.
What I Wish I’d Known Then: The Truth About Christian Motherhood
Now, as I watch my daughter-in-law navigate young motherhood while working full-time, I see the same struggles I faced. The guilt when she takes time for exercise. The exhaustion from putting everyone else’s needs first. The belief that good Christian mothers should be able to handle everything with joy and patience.
Here’s what I want every busy Christian mom to know:
God didn’t design you to run on empty. Even Jesus withdrew from the crowds to rest and pray. If the Son of God needed restoration time, so do you.
Self-care enables service. When you’re physically, emotionally, and spiritually depleted, you’re not serving your family well—you’re surviving. There’s a difference between sacrificial love and self-destruction.
Your children need a healthy mother. They need to see what it looks like to steward the body and life God gave you. They’re watching how you treat yourself, and that becomes their template for self-respect.
God’s love for you isn’t conditional on your maternal performance. You don’t earn His approval by being the perfect mom any more than you lose it by taking time to care for yourself.
Modeling healthy boundaries is ministry. When you show your children that it’s okay to have needs, to rest when tired, to ask for help when overwhelmed, you’re teaching them how to honor the bodies and lives God gave them.
Simple Self-Care That Honors God (Not the World)
The self-care I’m talking about isn’t the world’s version of bubble baths and wine nights (though those can be wonderful). It’s biblical self-care rooted in the truth that your body is God’s temple and your life is His gift.
Here are the simple practices that sustained me through the hardest seasons of motherhood—and that I see working for busy moms today:
Morning Minutes with God (Even If It’s Just Three)
I used to think quiet time had to be an hour-long, uninterrupted, coffee-in-hand experience. When that became impossible with little ones, I gave up trying altogether.
But God meets us in the three-minute bathroom breaks and the few seconds while coffee brews. Those stolen moments of prayer, gratitude, or simply breathing deeply while remembering whose you are—they count. They matter. They sustain.
Start with this: before your feet hit the floor each morning, say “Thank you, God, for this day. Help me steward it well.” That’s it. Thirty seconds that can transform your entire day.
Movement as Worship
Remember when I discovered that exercise could be prayer time instead of punishment time? This was revolutionary during my mothering years.
Walking while pushing the stroller became worship walks. Dancing in the kitchen while dinner cooked became celebration time. Stretching during naptime became communion with God about the stress I was carrying.
You don’t need a gym membership or an hour-long workout. You need movement that reminds you that your body is God’s temple and deserves care. Ten minutes of movement while praising God for what your body can do—that’s worship and self-care combined.
Nourishing Your Body as God’s Temple
During the busy years of motherhood, I often ate my children’s leftover chicken nuggets while standing at the kitchen counter, telling myself I didn’t have time for real meals.
But honoring God with your body means fueling it well, not just feeding everyone else well. This doesn’t require complicated meal prep or expensive organic everything. It means eating actual meals instead of scraps, drinking water instead of just coffee, and choosing foods that give you energy instead of depleting it.
When you eat with gratitude and intention—even if it’s a peanut butter sandwich while the kids nap—you’re practicing stewardship.
Saying No as Spiritual Discipline
This one nearly killed me to learn. I thought good Christian mothers said yes to everything. Every school volunteer opportunity, every church committee, every friend who needed help.
But saying yes to everything meant saying no to what God was actually calling me to: being present with my family, caring for my body, maintaining my emotional and spiritual health.
Learning to say “not right now” or “I can’t take that on” wasn’t selfishness—it was wisdom. It was protecting my capacity to say yes to God’s best instead of exhausting myself on everyone else’s good.
Rest as Obedience
God rested on the seventh day and commanded His people to do the same. Yet somehow I’d convinced myself that mothers were exempt from this divine pattern.
Rest doesn’t always mean sleep (though sleep is crucial). Sometimes it means sitting down while the kids play instead of using every moment to clean. Sometimes it means saying no to one evening commitment so you can be home in pajamas. Sometimes it means asking for help instead of doing everything yourself.
Rest isn’t laziness when you’re a mother—it’s obedience to God’s design for human flourishing.
The Practical Reality: Self-Care in the Chaos
Let me get real about what self-care actually looked like during my most chaotic mothering seasons:
Five-minute showers that included prayer time. Hot water and talking to God about the day ahead or behind.
Walking prayers around the neighborhood while kids rode bikes or played at the park. Fresh air and communion with God while supervising children.
Worship music during household tasks. Dishes and laundry became opportunities for praise instead of drudgery.
Saying no to one thing each week that I would normally say yes to out of guilt. Protecting my time and energy for what mattered most.
Eating one mindful meal per day. Even if it was just breakfast, taking time to actually taste my food and thank God for it.
Going to bed fifteen minutes earlier to read something life-giving instead of scrolling through social media.
Asking for help without apologizing. Learning that accepting support wasn’t failure—it was wisdom.
None of these were elaborate or time-consuming. All of them honored God while caring for the mother He created me to be.
Overcoming the Biggest Obstacles
Let me address the barriers that keep busy Christian moms from practicing faith-based self-care:
“I don’t have time.” You’re right—you don’t have extra time. But you can redeem the time you have. Five minutes of prayer while coffee brews. Worship music while folding laundry. Gratitude practice while nursing the baby. Self-care doesn’t require additional time if you incorporate it into your existing activities.
“It feels selfish.” This is the biggest lie that keeps mothers exhausted and depleted. Caring for yourself enables you to care for others better. When you’re running on empty, everyone suffers. When you’re nourished and restored, everyone benefits.
“My family needs me too much.” They need you healthy more than they need you available 24/7. A rested, peaceful mother serves her family better than an exhausted, resentful one. Your self-care isn’t taking away from them—it’s investing in their well-being.
“I feel guilty taking time for myself.” Where does this guilt come from? Is it from God, who designed you to need rest and renewal? Or is it from cultural expectations that demand mothers be superhuman? God’s voice brings life and peace. Guilt that depletes and exhausts isn’t from Him.
“Other moms seem to handle it all without help.” Trust me—they don’t. Social media shows highlight reels, not reality. Every mother struggles. Every mother needs care. The ones who seem to have it all together are either getting help you don’t see or suffering in ways you don’t know.
The Ripple Effects: How Self-Care Blesses Your Family
When I finally learned to practice faith-based self-care during my mothering years, the benefits rippled out to everyone around me:
My patience increased. When I wasn’t running on empty, I had more grace for spilled milk, sibling squabbles, and bedtime battles.
My energy improved. Taking care of my physical needs meant I could engage with my children instead of just surviving until bedtime.
My joy returned. When I stopped feeling guilty about every moment I took for myself, I could actually enjoy the beautiful chaos of family life.
My marriage strengthened. I wasn’t resentful about always putting everyone else first because I’d learned to include myself in the circle of care.
My children learned healthy boundaries. They saw that it was okay to have needs, to rest when tired, to ask for help when overwhelmed.
My service became sustainable. Instead of burning out every few months, I could serve consistently over the long term.
Teaching Your Children About Self-Care Through Example
One of the most important things I learned was that my children were watching how I treated myself. They were forming their understanding of self-worth, boundaries, and stewardship based on my example.
When I constantly sacrificed my own needs, I was teaching them that mothers (and women) didn’t matter. When I felt guilty about every moment of rest, I was modeling shame about having human needs. When I said yes to everything and complained about being overwhelmed, I was showing them that boundaries were selfish.
But when I started practicing faith-based self-care, I was teaching them:
- It’s okay to have needs and to meet them responsibly
- Rest is a gift from God, not something to feel guilty about
- Saying no to some things allows us to say yes to the right things
- Taking care of our bodies is honoring God
- Asking for help is wise, not weak
- Joy and peace are possible even in difficult seasons
Your children need to see you care for yourself well. They’re forming their understanding of self-respect, boundaries, and stewardship by watching you. What do you want them to learn?
Creating Your Own Faith-Based Self-Care Practice
If you’re ready to honor God by caring for yourself well, here’s how to start:
Begin with prayer. Ask God to show you what you need and give you wisdom to steward your life well. He wants you healthy and whole more than you do.
Start ridiculously small. Choose one tiny practice you can do daily. Three minutes of morning prayer. One mindful meal. A five-minute walk. Build the habit before you worry about the duration.
Redeem the time you have. Instead of trying to find extra time, transform the time you’re already spending. Turn your shower into prayer time. Listen to worship music while doing dishes. Practice gratitude while nursing.
Get support. Find other moms who understand the challenge of caring for themselves well. Accountability and encouragement make all the difference.
Extend yourself grace. You won’t do this perfectly. Some days you’ll forget. Some weeks you’ll feel too overwhelmed to care for yourself well. That’s normal, not failure. God’s grace covers your imperfect self-care just like it covers everything else.
Focus on stewardship, not perfection. You’re not trying to become the perfect mother or achieve some ideal of self-care. You’re simply stewarding the life and body God gave you with wisdom and gratitude.
The Long-Term Vision: Modeling Healthy Motherhood
At 59, I can see the long-term fruits of learning to practice faith-based self-care during my mothering years. I didn’t burn out. I didn’t become resentful. I didn’t sacrifice my health on the altar of perfect motherhood.
More importantly, I modeled for my children what it looks like to steward your life well. They learned that having needs is normal, that rest is holy, that asking for help is wise. They saw what sustainable service looks like—caring for others from a place of fullness rather than depletion.
Now, as I watch my daughter-in-law navigate young motherhood, I can offer her what that older woman offered me: permission to care for herself well, encouragement to practice faith-based self-care, and the truth that stewarding her life honors God and serves her family.
Your Permission to Care for Yourself
Dear busy Christian mama, let me speak to your heart the words I needed to hear twenty-five years ago:
You have permission to have needs. You have permission to meet those needs. You have permission to rest when you’re tired, to ask for help when you’re overwhelmed, and to take time to care for the body and life that God has given you.
This isn’t selfish—it’s a matter of stewardship. This isn’t taking away from your family—it’s investing in their well-being. This isn’t ungodly—it’s following the example of Jesus, who withdrew to rest and pray even when people needed Him.
God didn’t call you to martyrdom in motherhood. He called you to faithful stewardship of the life He’s given you. That includes stewarding your physical health, emotional well-being, spiritual vitality, and relational capacity.
You don’t have to choose between being a good mother and caring for yourself well. In fact, you can’t be the mother God called you to be without caring for yourself. Your children need you to be healthy, rested, and whole more than they need you to be perfect and depleted.
The guilt you feel about self-care isn’t from God. He designed you to need rest, renewal, and care. The pressure to be superhuman isn’t from Him either. He knows you’re human, and He loves you exactly as you are.
Start today. Start small. Start with grace. Choose one simple practice that honors God while caring for yourself. Your family will be blessed, your service will be sustainable, and your joy will be restored.
You are loved beyond measure, chosen for this sacred work of motherhood, and worthy of the same care you so freely give to others. Faith-based self-care isn’t an addition to your spiritual life—it’s an expression of it.
God entrusted you with the precious responsibility of raising His children. Honor that calling by stewarding yourself well. Your future self, your family, and your God will thank you.
The journey toward healthy, sustainable, joy-filled motherhood begins with a simple prayer: “God, help me steward this life You’ve given me with wisdom, grace, and love—including love for myself.”
From there, everything is possible. Because when you care for yourself the way God intended, you discover that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s sacred. And sacred self-care transforms not just you, but everyone you love.
